What is this??

For awhile now I've wanted something constructive to do that lasts more than an afternoon and here's my solution: Inspired by Tiger Weekly's Asinine Astrology (I used to love them, but then they started to suck.), I've decided to take a pre-written horoscope, and interpret it. I mean, really, how often do you read a horoscope and know it's just fancy for "you're going to have a good day"?

I'm a Taurus, and since I had to sign up to receive them, everyone's going to read about the amazing Taurus first. This one's from astrocenter.com:

Taurus: As a very peaceful day lies ahead, you should seize this opportunity to care for yourself. You have all the time in the world and you will be in the best disposition to analyze your life. Things will become clearer to you. Why not use this frame of mind to cast out differences and solve issues with people around you?

Here's my take on it:
Today will be boring, so make sure you clean your room and possibly take a shower. You have no life, and you'd better think about getting one. You're a loser. Why not help the other losers?

I noticed that all the horoscope sites have disclaimers, so here's one for you.

Disclaimer: This may or may not be true. It depends on the planets and how much you suck.

And here's a nice picture for you, just in case you're a functioning literate and stumbled across this blog in an attempt to look smart.



We'll see how tomorrow goes... I might expand!

Love,
Slayre