Ok, so I didn't post yesterday. Sorry. As an aside, I got into a bicycle crash yesterday. Yes, that's right. A near head on collision with another bicyclist. Basically what happened is I was riding happily along, and this chick came around a curve, and instead of pulling to her right as is logical, she screamed (she had time to scream, but not to think?) and pulled to her left. I was turning to my right since you know, that's the side she wasn't on but we crashed anyway. No injuries occurred, but seriously, if you don't know how to ride a bike, then just don't do it. Unless you're a kid, then it's allowed. Also, don't scream instead of thinking. I think that's a new pet peeve of mine.
To make up for the missed post yesterday, there'll be not one but two horoscopes today. I'll even make them both for today's date. Enjoy.
Sagittarius, Freehoroscopesdaily says:
This is a day where you may feel the urge to get back at someone. Instead of sending a box of melted chocolates or wilted flowers, don't stoop to anyone's level. Hang onto your self-respect and just go on as if they didn't exist without giving a second thought to it.
Slayre Says:
Today is the day for revenge. Sorry, I lied. Today is not a day for revenge. Instead of doing something that seems nice but isn't, send someone a midget. Midgets are nice, and they will do any stooping necessary. You might ask if that's a little discriminatory. Yeah, definitely, but as long as you don't have to send the poop shaped chocolate yourself, does it really matter?
Capricorn, the same people said:
This is a low stress day as you realize that your fears were not based on fact. Some people say that worrying is pointless because it doesn't change anything. If worrying prompts a person to positive action, then worrying can do some good. But in your particular situation, your worrying just kept you in a constant state of stress which has been removed today.
Slayre Says:
Today, you will relax because you realize you have a phobia, but not for long. The phobia will cause tension because it's chasing you. Yeah, now you not only have a phobia, but you're getting paranoid too. People keep telling you to chill, but have you ever seen someone who has OCD really relax? You tell them that your condition makes you more productive, but I don't think they believe you. In fact, I hear them whispering about you. Right now. Don't worry, that shot the doctor gave you will be kicking in any minute now, and then we'll put you in a nice I-Love-Me jacket.
Disclaimer: Slayre Says does not encourage servitude of midgets, or taunting people with mental problems. Mostly.
Slayre's Fortune Cookie: Do yourself a favor and do both at once.
Check it out: Double the pictures.
Love, Slayre
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